February 10, 2003

• My first MAJOR screw up.
  
  In 1993, I met Felix. We were both 19. I was in Wawa in Red Bank next to Count Basie Theater. He was working security for the Violent Femmes Show. I knew his co worker, so I said hi, and offered to pay him for his badge so I could go back stage. Hee Hee, Hilarity ensued.
  
  A few weeks later, I was punching out my time card at work and I looked to my right. He was punching out too. We remembered each other.
  
  He was Fillipino, but always pretended to be Native American. He had long shiny black hair, striking features, and a beautiful spirit.
  
  He called Me “Fank”, because If I had been a boy I would have been named called Frank, but my sister said it Fank. I called him “Nuwanda” made up Indian for “He who runs with the wild Horses.”
  
  We went to movies together. Everything from “The Ref” with Denis Leary, to “The Piano”. We both wrote poetry. We were both raised Catholic and had issues with the religion, but still went to Church together Sunday nights after work.
  
  
  
  I went out to eat with his family. They were going to go to a steakhouse, but Felix who thought he was funny decided to tell his family I was a “Veteranarian.” (I was a Vegetarian) His father proceeded to have a 20 minute conversation with me about goats before Felix told him I was in fact NOT an animal doctor.
  
  He drove a beat up BMW that he let me name. He used to pick me up and we would drive to the Beach, or the park.
  
  He told me his fears and thoughts. He came to this country at 16 knowing no english. He sat alone in school. He fell in love with a beautiful girl named Audrey. He told me a story that broke my heart.
  
  They were sitting on the rocks at the beach, listening to the waves, and watching the sun. He told her she was beautiful, and he loved her. She replied, “Oh.”
  
  He knew all about the Tom fiasco, and my confidence issues. We were inseperable. We started hanging out a lot.
  
  
  
  Until…

  • 9:11 pm
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